International Women's Day

When I first heard of International Women's Day, I was a kind of annoyed. I mean, women get one day? Out of 365?

But I guess the real point of days like this is to commemorate women who have shaped the world against all odds--in big ways and in small ways. In many countries, Women's Day celebrated like Mother's Day; a day to give thanks to the female family members and teachers in one's life.

So with that in mind, here are some of the woman who have made me who I am. I can't track them all down, and I can't thank them enough, but I can't imagine being the person I am today without them.

Ms. Geier, my fourth grade teacher.
Shifra and Hazel, my Hebrew teachers.
Ms. Cunningham, my eighth grade English teacher.
Ms. Horowitz, my tenth grade science teacher.
Melissa and Ilene.
Jane.
Kris.
Ahuva.
Julia, my writing teacher at camp.
Rebecca, my writing teacher.
My three grandmothers, Mira, Gloria, and Ann.
My mom.

Perhaps fittingly, given that the International Women's Day theme of 2011 includes "Equal access to education," most of the women on this list are teachers. I'm so grateful, not only to be a woman in a country with free and equal education, but to have the opportunity to learn from these amazing people. Who happen to be female. 

Happy Women's Day, everyone! Who are you grateful for?

Taking Sexy Back

Cross-posted on the SPARK blog.

Walking home after dark a few nights ago, I passed a pair of guys sprawled on a park bench. As I reached the corner, one of them turned to the other and commented, "Yeah, she's pretty."

I decided not to ignore it. I turned my head and gave him a look. As I walked away, the guy called after me. "You don't think you are, but you are."

Maybe some girls would have been flattered by this. The guy wasn't your typical "creeper", after all--he was young, probably in his 20s, and not bad looking himself. He wasn't wolf-whistling or leering at my body. It was a compliment, right? He probably thought he'd made my day.

Somehow, I wasn't flattered. I was annoyed. My look wasn't meant to say "I don't believe you" but "Who do you think you are?" I didn't walk past for his benefit. I wasn't interested in his opinion. But somehow, this guy had the idea that all girls are desperate for male attention. That a girl who doesn't flaunt her body must be ashamed or self-conscious of it.

There's a strange paradox when it comes to words like "beautiful" and "pretty" and "sexy". For any other attribute, like kindness or honesty, the opinions of strangers are irrelevent. You can't assess the true strength of a person's character until you know them well. But when it comes to beauty, nothing your friends say counts. Your feelings of self-worth are placed in the hands of the people who know you least--that random guy on the street.

Did this twenty-something guy realize I'm still in high school? Did he care? As soon as a girl hits puberty, when she's reached a point where she looks adult, she's open to any and all appraisals of her physical appearance. Her beauty, and her sexiness, is defined by anyone who's brash enough to call out to her about it. For too long the media, and male-dominated society, has been given the authority to tell girls and women what "sexy" is--and by extension, how we should be.

 

(Sorry about that last one--I've got Harry Potter on the mind lately.)



I don't know how I feel about "taking sexy back". In a way, girls and women redefining sexy is like blacks reclaiming "n-----" or gays reclaiming "queer", "f-----" and "d---". For some, it feels triumphant and true. But sometimes the negative connotations of these words can't be untangled from the words themselves. Can we arbitrarily ascribe a word like "sexy", which is descriptive of physical appearance, to positive attributes like confidence and intelligence?

For me, liberation comes from saying, "I'm not sexy." I'm not "pretty," and that's okay--really, it is. Because on my list of qualities to aspire to, those words don't even appear. Smart, compassionate, funny, determined, talented, loyal--those are the adjectives that come first.

Women Athletes

Cross-posted on the SPARK blog.

On Friday, October 22nd, I had the pleasure of attending the SPARK Summit at Hunter College and hearing Geena Davis speak. Almost any experience is sweetened by the knowledge that the rest of your classmates are sitting in school, but Davis' speech was thought-provoking in its own right.



Geena Davis is a Academy-Award winning actress best known for her role as Thelma in Thelma and Louise, a movie following the exploits of two women outlaws. Davis is an activist who has done great work promoting healthy body image and improved portrayal of gender in the media through her research institute's See Jane program. She's also a MENSA member, a mother of three, and--get this--nearly an Olympic-level athlete. 

Explaining this last, "random" appellation, Davis said she began to develop a serious interest in sports after learning baseball for her part in A League of Their Own. She  started taking archery lessons in 1997 after meeting Olympic gold medalist Justin Huish. Two years later, she competed in the Olympic semifinals for a place on the 2000 U.S. archery team. Since then, Genna Davis has worked with the Women's Sports Foundation to educate girl and women athletes about their rights under Title IX. In both her acting roles and sports activism, Davis encourages girls to take charge of their own destinies: "I'd rather play baseball than be the baseball player's girlfriend."

Athleticism has never been something I pride myself on, so I'm not sure why this aspect of Geena Davis' speech was so arresting to me. The determination and perseverance of women athletes inspires girls to achieve in all areas of their lives; according to Davis, "sports are 90 percent mental". The importance of sports for women, though, is strongly rooted in its physicality. In a world inundated with images of female frailty, sexual submissiveness, and airbrushed "beauty," the best way to reclaim our bodies is to use them.

Charlotte Cooper, the first female Olympic champion, won the Wimbledon five times. In a dress.

Serena Williams